Military Caregivers Need One Another. We Should Make That Easier.

People have called me resilient for 15 years. It is the word our community uses for military families, and though it is important, it should not be an expectation. My husband, Chuck, a Marine, served in both Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. During both tours, Chuck suffered injuries that have affected his health long-term. The most serious came in 2011, when an IED explosion left him with a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress. At times, he struggled just to be in the house. I kept the days running and tried to handle this on our own as a proud military family.

Caregiving for a wounded, ill or injured service member or veteran is often isolating work. It means navigating a complex health care and benefits system, advocating to make sure a loved one receives the care they deserve, and balancing all of it against your own health and well-being. Most of it happens at home and out of view. Invisible wounds are especially hard for other people to understand, and that makes it hard to find help.

In a life that looks nothing like the one we expected, military and veteran caregivers want to know we are not alone in what we face.

What changed things for me was meeting other military spouses and family members who are also caregivers as my peers. Through the Dole Caregiver Fellows program, I found people who understood what our family was living with, and I stopped trying to carry it by myself.

That is why connection has to be part of how we support caregivers, right alongside the resources and services they rely on. A caregiver who has someone to ask is better equipped to find the right resource, to keep going after a hard week, and to recognize that their own well-being matters too.

It is also why the Foundation launched EDF Connect in 2025, a secure online community built exclusively for military and veteran caregivers, family members, and loved ones. Every member is verified as a caregiver before joining, so people can speak freely in a trusted space. Inside, they ask questions, trade resources, attend events and webinars and, most important, find one another.

One year in, more than 1,500 caregivers have joined. They span ages, locations, caregiving relationships, and life experiences. We have hosted conversations with caregiving advocates and military and veteran community leaders, including Emma Heming Willis, General Mark Graham of Vets4Warriors, Dr. Tim Overton of Cohen Veterans Network, Paralyzed Veterans of America, and Rebekah Lovorn of No Greater Sacrifice.

The moments that matter most have happened between caregivers themselves. They tell us EDF Connect has become the place they go to vent after a difficult day, celebrate a hard-won success, laugh, cry, pass along a resource, or talk with someone who understands. The most powerful support is sometimes the simplest: learning that you are not the only one.

We are proud of that first year, and are clear about its scale. There are 14.3 million military and veteran caregivers in America, and reaching them will take more than one organization.

If you work in a clinic, a VA office, a military/veteran service organization, Department of Defense Wounded Warrior Program, or a workplace that employs military families, you almost certainly know a caregiver, whether or not they use that word for themselves. Tell them this community exists.

Military families are raised on pride and strength, and that can make it hard to say we need help. I know, because it was hard for me. If a caregiver is part of your own family or circle of friends, ask how they are doing, and then ask again, “Are you?” 

The holiday season is approaching, a time when connection and community matter most and their absence is felt most keenly. In the year ahead, the Foundation will keep working until every military and veteran caregiver knows there is a community ready to stand beside them.

If you are a military or veteran caregiver, you can sign up for EDF Connect. A member of the Elizabeth Dole Foundation team reviews each application to verify caregiver status before accepting new members.

Liz Rotenberry is vice president of Community Engagement at the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, a Dole Caregiver Fellow alumna, and a caregiver to her husband, a Marine Corps veteran.