The time for promises, pledges and personal commitments is upon us again. If you’re like the other 45 percent of Americans who made a New Year’s resolution (or two), you find yourself knee deep in an all-out blitz against bad habits and unhealthy behaviors.
Last year’s failures are a distant memory; this year you’re filled with a newfound hope for making some significant and long-lasting changes.
Congratulations! The first step to change is homing in on what needs to be different. Unfortunately, of those 45 percent who approach the New Year with a renewed optimism, only about 8 percent of us will fully succeed at our New Year’s goals.
According to researchers at the University of Scranton, the top three New Year’s resolutions are losing weight, getting organized and spending less money.
But nowhere to be found on their top 10 list is being happier, reducing stress and anxiety, or curbing anger; indeed, all are laudable goals most of us could strive toward.
This year I challenge you to focus on improving your overall psychological health.
Here are a few tips that will improve your chances of fulfilling this year’s New Year’s resolutions.
■ Be present and nonjudgmental. Most of us spend our day walking around thinking about things we have to do in the future or what we did or didn’t do in the past. Regardless of which group you’re in, it creates unwarranted worry and stress. Make a pact with yourself to focus more on your present surroundings, feelings and thoughts without passing judgment. Don’t label things. Just exist.
■ Do something nice for people. This year, go out of your way to do something for a stranger. It doesn’t have to be huge, like loaning them your car or picking up one of their mortgage payments. Research has shown that something simple — buying someone’s coffee or meal or complimenting someone on his clothes, smile or attitude — improves the mood of the giver.
■ Rethink your perspective. If you tend to see everyone as rude, stupid or selfish, it may be time to rethink your perspective. Over the next 12 months, look for evidence contrary to your current beliefs. It may be difficult at first, but overall, a lot of people have some good qualities. Stop judging and search for the good stuff.
■ Put yourself second. I know this goes against the grain of our modern culture, but putting other’s feelings and needs before your own can be therapeutic. This year, before telling someone what you want or need, take a step back and ask how you can be of service.
Bret A. Moore, Psy.D., is a board-certified clinical psychologist who served two tours in Iraq. Email him at kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to convey specific psychological or medical guidance.
